i have gone out of control, I actually pushed my mum out of my room and banged the door at her face and well, cried myself to sleep. So as a result the computer has been taken away :(, No msn No facebook and no blogging ! Damn sad, But must study 3 subjects a day, :\, Im borredddd ! Today F1 ! I support Lewis Hamilton ! Not because hes goodlooking but because he can win ! Went to my mums bestfriends sons wedding, BORRINGGGG ! I was flower girl, Quite fun but had to wait damn long for the bride but shouldnt complain cos when i get married they will also be people waiting for me and so will be my prince charming ! :D I have actually planned my entire wedding out except for the place but never mind i still got 14years more to go :), No rush. So end of years coming ... But guess what ! Kailing told me that i made it for the peerleader interview ! YAHHHHHH ! Everyone in my class, The chosen ones got in, But Xingxi didnt, :(, Not happy bout that, But there will be a camp during the hols, So maybe me and kailing will go together ! Cant wait ! cant wait for next year, For going to europe and to becoming sec 2, But as we grow older things and life get more difficult... But rachel and i promised each other that we wont let anything and no one come in between our friendship for the next 5years,less or more, And our trusts and faith in each other will grow stronger everyday. Overall, Everythings great, Dont want to go back skewl tomorrow because of ezri but will have to cos im strong, Cried enough during the weekends, First time in 13years have i crired like hell. I have to go now so see all of you after 16th of october ! Byebye ! Love you ! :D.

I have nothing to posts about but, I do, Today, i actaully cried and i mean literally cried, i forced it all out in the girls toliet and cried silently because of ezri kwek jun yi. Bloody hell, i seriously dun mind you spreading that i like that retarded guy but YOU went toooo far, I know what you said to them, Dude would you like it if i said sucha crap about you ! Would you ?! No you wont right ? But you see, Youre JUST a boy, You dont understand how a girl hurts and you wouldnt give a damn anyways because youve never been hurt that way. But who cares ? Go spread all you want, I aint going to lose anything, My friends will still be there i will still have my mum and sister and i will still have my life.

Peer leader interview went SUPERDUPER well, Because eugene was damn funny :D Which kinda cured my mood a little.
Im boredddd at home :( but will stay up to watch the F1 pratice races and chat with rachel. Byebye for now ! Wont be posting everyday cos EOY coming, and i want to be a good girl and study.
(AS IF ! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA) :P

Rithaa just took the "do your eyes show your real emotion?" quiz and the result is Your eyes hide your emotion..

You are very good at hiding your emotions, and are a good liar. And, overall, are fiendishly smart. You are blue eyes.

Really and seriously, why the hell isit so hard to express myself ? Why is it so hard to let everything go and not hide my emotions, And even if i do, Am i that hard to read ? Am i that hard, That no one can see thrgh me ? I cant get it, I never did set high hopes for myself, Because you see, I dont deserve the best nor the worst, I deserve nothing,

Rithaa completed the quiz "What about you, is unknown to others?" with the result Anger.
Under all of that happiness, your truly angered at someone or maybe even yourself. You sometimes even try to cover it up with sadness. You aren't actual...ly angered easily but you're still to hurt to forgive that person or yourself. If you forgive and forget, you won't regret...

Yes, im angry at myself for being born ! For being sucha useless and dumb daughter ! For not being able to cry, For not being to say whatever is in my heart, For not being strong enough for my friends and family, For... For just everything ! Because at this point, Everything just seems to be My Fault, Or maybe afiqa was right, I feel too much, Which means im over-emotional, Maybe i should stop feeling ? Or maybe, best solution so far, Is dying... But then all the probs will be come worst and all my friends may or even may not cry, and my mum would die too, Lif4e has pushed me to the edge adn i fell but now im holding on a branch looking down, Theres no ground and no one, And now that branch is about to break,

Rithaa completed the quiz "The Real You." with the result The Friend.
You are a fierce friend. You care for others as if they were your own. You care deeply for everyone. You befriend people because you trust everyone. Your care exceeds ever...ything. What ever your friends ask for, you get for them. Even if they've betrayed you before, you will still hold them close. You've been through ups and downs with every single one of your friends, and they understand you. You believe that there is strength in numbers, and you can't go through it all on your own. Your friends are what keep you going. .

Rithaa completed the quiz "Woman: What is your true self?" with the result True Self: Over-Emotional!.
Emotions are very very much the core of your being. They flow in you, as you flow with them. They can be hard to control sometimes, but do...ne so with success makes you feel at ease. You are the kind of woman that cries over a movie, that gets dissapointed easily when others don't meet up with your expectations.But you are the one that others can count on for advice! You would cry with people, dance with people and fight with people. Your variety and sometimes disbalance in emotions makes you quite cute!.

Rithaa completed the quiz "What is your Best Trait?" with the result Compassion.
You don't judge others' faults but rather have compassion on them and what they are going through. Your first instinct when you see someone in need is to comfor...t them and show them how much you care. You are gracious, and love flows out of you naturally. Even in situations where most people would back away, you are right there for people with your arms wide open. You feel empathy for those who suffer, and this might be because of your kind nature or maybe even because you can relate; whatever the reason, you help heal wounds and are a shoulder to cry on..

Rithaa completed the quiz "Friendly's asks, "What Ice Cream Treat are You?"" with the result Mint Cookie Crunch.
Free spirited and strong willed. You are a person of sophisticated, complex tastes who takes the road less traveled. Y...ou have your own distinct personal style and aren’t afraid to go after what you really want, even if goes against the grain. You enjoy a little mystery in life and you’re not afraid to keep friends guessing..
Rithaa completed the quiz "What is your Temperament?" with the result Sanguine.
You sparkle. There is something about you that is lovable and fun. You are a people-person and people are drawn to you. You are lighthearted and carefree. You are... a born storyteller, everyone knows that when you start a conversation with "You'll never guess what happened..." they are in for a good story. You have a good sense of humour and a memory for colour. You feel things passionately and you are very demonstrative of your feelings. You have a natural curiosity and a wide-eyed innocence that is charming. You have a changeable disposition but a sincere heart. Whatever is happening now is the most important thing and whoever is in the room is your favourite person - and you are theirs. Extrovert: The People Person.

I wonder if what they even say is true, Tomorrow's thursday ! :D

Today is a very bad day, Im really upset and angry for no reasons, Alomost cried in the bus and mrt, I almost cried in clas,Life has been in a way unfair to me, Its making me cry like never before,Hurt like never before,Love like never before,Want like never before,Need like never before and bleed like never before, Why cant i just be happy ? Why isit so hard for me to be happy in and with my life ? Sometimes if i had a wish i would wish to always be happy no matter what, Because lately everythingg seems perfect but feels incomplete,Everything looks beautiful but feels ugly,Im getting real bad mood swings, Which isnt good at all, Im thinking of dying which also isnt good at all, Whats wrong with my head ? Evereything and everyone seems so fake and blur, Everythings so close to touch but too far to see, I havent been myself lately, And even if im happy, Im happy-sad, Sometimes i even feel gulity of being happy, Why does life like to play these type of games ? Why does life make us hurt so much ? Why does life make us bleed so much ? Why does life make us break into pieces everytime i fall ? Why does life make us run in circles just to get an answer ? Why does life make us think so deep that it hurts ? Why does life make us love so much that it hurts ? Why does life make us run for cover ? Why does life, Why does life make us ? I apologise to people whom i may have hurt because of my bad mood swings,:) really sorry.

During my trip in KL, i realised that everything i did reminded me of you, Guess what ? Everywhere i went there was something to remind me of you, I wanted to see you, Hoping, But maybe youre here while im there, Were so close yet so far apart,Bybye going airport !

SELAMAT HARI RAYA TO EVERYONE CELEBRATING !

Well, overall the trip was great ! i got 4 CAREBEARS ! Love-alot,which is mine,Cheers which is partially mine, Bedtime which is also partially mine and sunshine which is my mums, I got some heart matters settled there, I got earrings and whole load of money but sadly its all in malaysian so if i change the money i will have to divide the total number in half, Ate sooooooo much kuah and stuff so effin yummy, :) Then yesterday night i hopped on the plane at KLIA and zoomed back to singapore, My home ! I hope without me, Everything was fine ? Any problems or gossips i missed out ? Please fill me in, Thank You ! :D

Im not going to posts for awhile as im going to malaysia to celebrate HARI RAYA !!!!!!! So Byebye world ! i love you, and please dont miss me cos i wont miss you ! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ! :D

Today school practically was BORING ! Because shahiran and ezri werent there:(, So the place where i sat,Was quiet and not fun,Besides that everything thing when well espically my maths and science test :D,Except for after school,:|, "Im not ALWAYS going to be there for you, I have other people in my life too,I know i didnt tell you and stuff but whats ? I dont see any harm, What ? You think you'll lose me ? You think i'll leave you ? Well,then stop thinking that way, because i wont and you wont lose me, I know what youre going to through and stuff, And i dont want be rude and angry,But,In this relationship of ours, Im always the one whu ends up saying sorry, Not you, When we had the massive fight,You didnt even apologise and you said that you friend me because aelma friends me, All our other small stupid fights,I say sorry,And you do say sorry but for things that you didnt do,Not everything will be the same as our previous schools, And not everyone will be the same, I dont want to fight, And youre a really wonderful friend, But lately, youve become so protective, Youre not going to lose me you know ? im not going to fly away far from you... I will always be there, Right where i always am,Im sorry if im mistaken, But you even read my smses ?! I saw you,during maths, You wanted to use my phone, You dont trusts me or what ?! If we want or you wanna be good friends with me, Please theres something call trusts. And that justs proves how much you trusts me, when i would never do that and i actually trusts you with my life, Girl, youre great and wonderful and is always there when i seriously need you, I dont know, Lately i've been caught up with life and stuff and so have you, This is all i have to say, And i want you to speak,
(Sorry if im too rude or bad,Im seriously not in a good mood)

Time is passing so slowly...Taking its own time...Making every sad and beautiful moment lasts,I want to stay alone, I want to close my eyes and fade away. I want to breakaway from this painful yet joyful curse, Hmmh, People say im so happy, i have such a wonderful and free life but i swear, This is a life no one would ever want, So it comes to this, I seriously, at this point of time,want to die, I'd thought i'd never hear myself say this but im ready to break my bones and die, Never wake up again, Then i can dream,dream and dream because whats the point of living when youre souless ? When everything i want and need doesnt want me ? When this life is full of nothing but fake smiles,fake hearts,fake people and lies,lies and more lies ? This life that use to mean so much is crashing down at my feet, Now im building walls, These walls will be so strong and steady that no one can make them fall, These walls will protect me from fake hearts,smiles,people and lies,lies and lies, But i guess when i meet that extrodinary person that was made for me thats when these walls will crash,But they will definitely need to use alot of dynamite, So no one will ever see this soul never again,showing scars, So no one will ever see these eyes cry, So no one will see the truth that i will hide and dig it deep into me,So deep that i cant feel,Cant ... Love,
So No One Will Ever Break These Walls,Because i have fallen of this track,And im too scared to fall,fall and fall,

Everything is right except for the distance between us,The 7 things i hate bout you, Youre annoying,vain,behave like an jerk,Youre not who u really are,Dont know whats wrong or right,Make me laugh yet cry,But i swear i hate the fact that you make me love you,Everytime i see you i fall even deeper and harder,But you broke my heart even before i spoke. You look around the room,You see everything but you miss my heart, Yes you like her and always did, I was dreaming about all of those times you stole glances,You did things for me, Yes i was dreaming,

Now, Everytime i see him,I have a feeling like we belong, Everytime i dont fall for him,I feel incomplete,haish this love is so complicated and wrong yet right, Its like im addicted to him,I swore i'd never fall again but now
Im falling, My promise to never
Falling, fall again...
Falling Has Been Broken...
over you again
again
and again.
Whenever i see him,I have this feeling like
you'll always protect me and will always walk
into the room and just shine like the way you do,

I dont know why i feel this way,But everytime i see you,it gets more and more intense,Why are you so difficult to read ? Maybe what she said was true,Maybe you do like her ? She is pretty, But everytime our eyes meet,I feel like We are meant to be,But maybe we're not,I feel so much pain,This time i never did before,I think its because i maybe just maybe think youre worth the pain,But whats the use of waiting when i know in the end,You'll never come around ? But never mind,These are justs puppy loves,They'll go away,I hope they do,Cos i cant stand it any longer,My eyes want to bleed out everything but cant ? Someday these eyes will pour everything out and all the pain will be gone,We're so close yet so far,But i know there is someone for me out there,Because love isnt bout having the perfect person to love but Loving the imperfect person perfectly,

Im finally broken,You broke me,Every little piece,I have fallen hard,Too hard that i broke,

The girl who seemed - Broke
The girl who seemed so strong - Crumbled
The girl who always laughed it of - Cried
The girl who never stopped trying - Finally Gave Up,

The truth is everyone is going to hurt you, You'll just have to decide who's worth the pain,

If hes dumb enough to walk away then be smart enough to let go,

Some say holding on is what makes you stronge, But
sometimes it takes much more strenght to let it go and move on,

I Love You has 8 letters, And so does BULLSHIT,

Just cause her eyes dont tear doesnt mean her heart doesnt cry,And just because she comes off as strong doesnt mean nothing is wrong,

Promises mean everything but once their broken, Sorry means nothing,

Dont let someone become a priority in your life when youre just an option in theirs,

Girls dictionary : Forever means; Till we die
Boys dictionary : Forever means; Till i find some other thats better than you.
When you told me you loved me, Which dictionary were you looking at???!!!!!!!!!!!

When a guy says "I love you," Does he know what he really means ?

This is for Leora,

My heart is broken,Not even a mendable piece isare left,Simply particles of dust,That blow far away,That blow far,far away.Along with the last of my trusts. Stabbing thorns hurt so badly. I could have screamed. I could have cursed. But i didnt. I refused to. I just let them hurt more and build and hurt more and more, Till i got confused, Until my whole being was one horribly tensed,More than you could imagine. Its all based upon, One thought
No one,No one, No one will truly ever care for me, Then a voice softly says with the sound of injury, "Dont you remember youve still got me." And that makes everything fly away,Every single drop of pain and tear,They just disapear like they were never there,I want to thank you again for keeping up with me and my mood swings and negative thoughts and always picking me up even before i hit the ground and always supporting me no matter what decision and Listening to me talk crap and complain and grumble everyday,And also making me feel like we were always meant to be,And making me feel secured and love,And also wiping every tear i shed,I want to to thank you for always mending this brokenheart, I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH !

Very very very bad day today, Got scolding for using vulgarities and beoming wilder and writing Love Letters on this blog, so therefore i have made it private. Its my blog and they say i cant fall in love ? At this age, hormones are changing right ? What do you want me to do ? Become lesbion ? I dont care, The vulgarities can stop but what i write in this blog is what i feel,Theyre actually tring to tell me how to feel,Well i rule this heart,

Anways today met rachel at tamipnes mrt station then waited for keefe and guess what ?!!!!! Joshua was still sleeping at home and jerry,on the flight back to singapore so we went library and well made a fool of ourselfs, Then keefe left for tuition while me and rae went to look for joshua at tampines interchange but he never did come instead my beloved soulsis leora was there,so we sat at mac's and talked and talked while doing science,Two stupid birds came to disturb us becos of rachel lar ! We fought like cattfights infront of everyone,Damn cool slah ! instead of joshua,keefe showed up and we went back to library to get started then jerry came then time flew to 5:15pm and was supposed to get home at 5pm,so only reached home at 5:40pm and got into trouble for coming home so late,It seems whatever i do aint good enough,

We've not seen each other in one year and i totally forget bout you and now youre stuck in my head, Maybe their old feelings i hide away ? Every single memory i have with you is playing in my head,Why ? Why did you pop up in my head all of a sudden ? I was thinking bout all the things you did for me, and all the fights we had and we even stared at each other for like 2 whole minutes, Even the teacher made fun of us together, The smile and those sparkly eyes, Omg,I cant do this, fall over guys sooo easily and besides and may never ever meet you again so dont stay in my head please,

Just came back from tuition,That was fine except for the part where this super irritating kid sitting next to me starting talking non-stop ! And he wont shut up ! im damn tired,Just so tired of running round in circles and still end up with the same damn thing,I like you but i dont want to,Tell me why, Is it so hard to forget you, Tell me why am i feeling like this deep inside,Theyre slowly fading but yet i dont want them to fade,Im being an total asshole again,im just plain TIRED ! ARGHHHHHH ! i want to sleep forever ever and ever !

kays, im seriously not a big fan of the jonas brothers, But after watching their show, OMG,theyre damn good in acting and Kevin is like THE funniest ! You guys should go watch it no matter how much you hate them and how gay they are, Theyre still wonderfully gorgeuos and talented,

I dont wanna go for tuition ! i wanna stay home and do whatever i want ! Tomorrow i will start fasting again, :( I dunnoe why but im damn tired and sick, I sleep like the whole night but still i can never get up in the mornings, I had the weirdest dream of my life yesterday, Cant wait to tell rachel, Nothing much has been going on in my life except study,study and study, Yes hes always on my mind,24 hours and i hate it, :( i dont want to feel anymore,I dont want cry anymore i dont want to love anymore,I dont want to do anything except die in your arms, I want to turn right and die in your arms,Thats the only thing i want,

If i pissed you off yesterday night im sorry, But im just telling you how i feel right ? You were the one whu asked me to tell you if you changed,I know the others said youre still the same but sadder,Yeah,i got alot feeling, Theres nothing wrong with it right ?Everyone has feelings,This is like a MAJOR fight,And i dont want it to be,We've never fight before,And now we're starting,What will happen to us in just sec 2 ? Fade away ? Or fly together ? You are tired,I know you are, Of helping every single person around and never taking a break,You never help yourself do you ? Yes its true that youve become sadder,That i wont deny, Youre not the funny,weird,happy-go-lucky and wild girl i met before,Youve become quiet,You get upset easily,You dont seem happy anymore,You are hidding all of your feelings,Arent you ? I was like this and all it led me to depression and it aint fun,Its...Its....very painful,Thats all.You are sooo confused with everythings that going on,Im sorry if i was the cause of almost everything that happened to you,Maybe we should stop for awhile ? Maybe we should let go and head for the finishing line ? Because nothing seems right anymore for us,I dont mind the fact that youve got a new bestfwen or whatever,I just feel,Like what you said,I got alot of feelings.Lets head for the finish okays ? Or should we go on ?

im sick of liking you ! Like seriously ! Everytime i do like you,I dont feel right and when i dont like you i still dont feel right! I still like you even though i know we can never be together ! The feelings for you can never be stable,Not once ! Im toooo tired of feeling this way,I want to feel real ! Not fake and sick !I feel like a dumbass whenever i like you But when i dont like you,I feel incomplete,Is this fair ! No it isnt,It never is isnt it,Everytime in love the girls hearts get broken,Not the guys,But the guys they go around breaking hearts like they own it,What do they know ?They are no the ones who cry every night in their sleep ! All boys are heartbreakers so actually theres no F**king point in liking or loving them from a distance or even close,In the end we still get brokenhearted,But guess what,Theres something different bout you,That i cant let go you,Everytime i hate you or dun like you,I have this urged that i must like you,Like if i dont its a crime,Anyone can tell me what this feeling is ?

Im tired of dreaming bout you,Of thinking bout you,Im cant keep on loving you from a distance can i ? I cant hide
I cant keep on feelin the way I do
And I cant keep on, hiding my heart from you
I got to say something before
Someone else comes through,
Cuz I cant keep on loving you,
I cant keep on loving you from a distance.

Im giving up on you but everytime i do,Somehow after awhile,I end up liking you all over again,Its hard to find the words, to get to know this stranger
And it feels like we belong together
Can someone tell me where do I start,
Everythings wrong again,Im going into depression again,I wish you were here,I need you here babe,But i know you have your own set of problems,But i hope that they will get solved by the time you get back,I need your calming words,I need your advice,I need your loving touch,unsuring me that everythings going to be fine,I just need you,Come back soon,

Dear Rithaa Wong, below are your love test result:

1. The road represents your attitude towards falling in love. You chose the long road. You take your time and do not fall in love easily.

2. The number of red roses represents how much you give in a relationship, while the number of white represents what you expect in return. You give 50% and expect 50% in return.

3. This question represents your attitude towards handling relationship problems. You asked the family member to get your significant other. You like to avoid problems and hope that they will solve themselves.

4. The placement of the roses determines how much you like seeing your boy/girlfriend. You place the roses by the windowsill. You are alright with not seeing him/her so often.

5. This represents your attitude towards his/her personality. You prefer the person to be awake, you expect the person to change for you.

6. The road to home tells how long you stay in love with someone. You chose the longer road. You will tend to stay in love for a long time.

Relationship Psychology Quiz,this is what my results are to the tests,

You are walking in the woods with RACHEL. rachel is the most important person in your life.

You see a HORSE. The size of the animal is representative of your perception of the size of your problems.

You friendlyness. with the animal? The severity of the interaction you have with the animal is representative of how you deal with your problems. (passively/aggressively)

You walk deeper in the woods. You enter a clearing and before you is your Dream House. It is SMALL YET BIG. The size of your dream house is representative of the size of your ambition to resolve your problems.

Is your dream house surrounded by a fence? You answered no,. No fence is indicative of an open personality. People are welcome at all times. The presence of a fence indicates a closed personality. You´d prefer people not to drop by unannounced.

You enter the house. You walk to the dining area and see the dining table. FOOD AND CHAIRS are on and around the table. If your answer did not include food, people, or flowers, then you are generally unhappy.

You exit the house through the back door. Lying in the grass is a cup. The cup is made of GOLD. . The durability of the material with which the cup is made of is representative of the perceived durability of your relationship with rachel. For example, styrafoam, plastic, and paper are all disposable, styrofoam, paper and glass are not durable, and metal and plastic are durable.

You CHERISH IT ALL MY LIFE. Your disposition of the cup is representative of your attitude towards rachel.

whatever is well bolded is my answers,this quiz is from facebook,

My birthday months says (according to facebook !)

month August below are What Your Birth Month Says About You :

* Loves to joke
* Attractive
* Suave and caring
* Brave and fearless
* Firm and has leadership qualities
* Knows how to console others
* Too generous and egoistic
* Taked high pride of oneself
* Thirsty for praises
* Extraodinary spirit
* Easily angered
* Angry when provoked
* Easily jealous
* Observant
* Careful and cautious
* Thinks quickly
* Independent thoughts
* Loves to lead and to be led
* Loves to dream
* Talented in the arts, music and defence
* Sensitive but not petty
* Poor resistance against illnesses
* Learns to relax
* Hasty and rushy
* Romantic
* Loving and caring
* Loves to make friends
IS IT TRUE ?????? TELL ME !

Leora,Rachel,Afiqa,

I feel like im hanging by a thread its a long way down,i have been trying to breathe but im fighting for air,I have no place to go,,But you all are always there when everything falls apart and it seems like the world is crashing at my feet,When im my own worst enemy,You guys make me feel beautiful when i have nothing left to prove,You hear what i say when i dont say a word,Youre the place i run,You guys know how it hurts when everything is wrong and everything is right,I cant imagine how i'd make it through without you babes,Theres definitely no me without you,And when you say it going to get better,i believe you and somehow i wish i could see me thrgh what you do with my imperfections you think im perfect when its not easy you make it worth it,I would have turned into dust if i didnt find you,I would have just vanished and done the stupidest mistakes in my life,If i didnt run to you,I would have looked at life and died in it,If you didnt pick me when i fell,Theres no me without you,I cant imagine myself without you 3,I know we have been through hell,In love,Yes my dears it hurts but without Love they would never be a me nor you, I want this friendship to lasts forvever and forever and forever,I want to die with you and if You go to hell,I will go with you,If you get heartbroken,I will get heartbroken with you,When you need me just call me,once and i will come running,No matter what the situation,I will be there, I do and say all this because i know that you babes will do it for me too,And in just 9months you babes have done just sooooo much,How much can you guys do for me in 5years ? I want to do whatever i can to pay you back all the tears i made you shed,All the burdens i put you through,Everytime when you guys tried your hardest to help and never once gave up on me,I gave up on myself,When i was going through deprression not once did you babes leave this hand of mine,Never not once have you made me travell on a path,all alone,I want to thank God for giving me such beautiful,extrodinary,understanding,Loving and caring friends that i know will never leave my side no matter whatever storm nor sunshine may come because i will never leave them too,
i love you babes,Leora,Afiqa and Rachel and want you to know that,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAY KAILING !
I LOVE YOU !
MAUCKS !

YAH ! your finally 13 ! I bet you feel great inside,So dont allow anyone,Anyone bitch or bastard to spoil it ! Rmb,the first day of school ? Yes i was superduper talktive and didnt even give you a chance to talk, (im better now rite ?) You were the first friend i ever made,Then leora then Afiqa then Rachel, We have hadd seriously NO FIGHTS yet in our friendship,I hope there isnt any in these 5YEARS ! Its been well now 9months,this friendship has lasted 9months and i hope it can last 9YEARS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha,no lah,maybe not, You know excatly what to do to cheer me up when life gets me down,We laugh together,Console other friends together,Go to the locker together,Sometimes fill water bottles together,These are the small details and moments spent that truly count,I tell this to every friend because its true that i never in my life had such wonderful nd extrodinary friends like you babes,you are one of the greatest friends i have ever made in this entire ife and i love you THE most,(well maybe xingxi loves you more !) But whu cares, I love you and i hope that for these 5years to come we will all celebrate your birthday well every1's bbirthday together like this, one more time

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO KAILING!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

I LOVE YOU AND THAT PICTURE ON TOP IS DEDICATED TO YOU !

Hey Babes,I dedicate RIGHT HERE BY MILEY CRYUS TO YOU BABES,kays ? Listen to it,Its from ME TO YOU,muacks,I love you guys,i dedicate that picture too!

I have made my so called decision,Itss true that im just another girl in your eyes,Its true that you will never ever bee mine,But i dont care,Because in love theres no right or wrong, In love if theres no pain theres no fun, I will allow these feelings to embrace and i will not ignore them,I will allow them to be stuck to my heart,So what if i fall so hard and bleed ? Leora will be there to pick me up again , so will afiqa and rachel, So what if i bleed, i have bleed my whole life would it make a difference really ? No it wont, Because for me everythings going to be adventorous from now on, So what if i break my heart, Everyones heart breaks, so why shouldnt mine ? I maybe the uglyiest girl on the planet to you, but for me im beautiful, i admit i aint have a pretty face with flawless skin and a beautiful slim figure but whu cares ?! As long as im happy, You see the hearts falling ? I want my heart to fall to, i dont want to carry the umbrella and hide inside, i want to walk in a path with broken hearts,Because love isnt about having the perfect love and person instead its about Loving the unperfect person perfectly, Im going to Live again as if i have never lived before,Im going to laugh and smile,and this time i cant and will definitely not fake, Im going to love till my heart has nothing left to give, Love my family, my beautiful friends and of cause ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want my heart to create a riot in me, Im going to invite the ever so welcoming, Im going to have sweetdreams, Im going to do everything i want to do with my faboulous,beautiful,caring,loving,understanding friends, Im going to spend every moment with them and if possible i want to die with them and have my grave dug right next to theirs, Leora,Me,Rachel and of cos Afiqa, I want to grow superduper old with them,I want to break peoples hearts with them,I want to do everything single thing with them,If i ever get an offence form i'll make sure they get it with me 2 !!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL,just kidding im not THAT bad, Yes we to have our fights,But lately everything seems perfect and beautiful, Im going to spend these 5years with them and spend it wildly!!!!!!!!!!! Im getting toooooo crazy,so whatever it is the decision has been made and anyone with a problem with it,please do come and find me at rithaa_1130@hotmail.com and tell me what your problem is,Kays ? For my three beautiful babes, If you guys need anything,and i mean ANYTHING at all,i am right here and will always be right here for you guys,i will cry,dance,laugh,smile,get heartbroken,get hated,get scolding and maybe get an offence form with you ! i <3 you guys ! MUAAAACCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Today school was wonderful becouse my SOULSISTER,Leora came back, Love you Dear! :D School was great except for recess and maths, :(...... Recess sucked because someone spoiled it, Maths sucked because my mood swings were getting 2 me, I was uneasy and super pale according to henry,brandon,leora,joshua and jiaming,Otherwise school was great,Planning 2 meet up with jerry,joshua,keefe and rachel during hols,to do LIT project,At tampines library, Other than that i have no more plans but to study hard if i ever want to reach my goal,

2 tell me to forget you and 1 tells me to like you,God answered my prayers last night by putting you in my dreams and the dream sucked cos u were in it,Liking you doesnt feel right and either does not liking you,Haish,Nothing seems happy anymore,I cant be happy even if i want to,I cant smile even if i want to,Im sitting here,allowing this heart to beat when its just sooo tired of trying everything,to get you out of my head and heart,These feelings are stuck to my heart like magnets,Its wrong isnt it ? Liking you ? No,its not because in love theres no right nor wrong, In Love, Nothing is right,Thats what makes LOVE so special,In Love with no pain theres no gain, In Love, You've gotta be strong even if you fall, In Love, You cant doubt Love or else it will doubt you, In Love, You must be fair, In Love You Have To love and Embrace the fact that Youre in Love,Or else it will be too late,So let us just embrace the fact that i like you,But dont want to like you,(Stupid right ? I know,)

I have seriously forgetten about him,And now,theres you,Leora and i have made a deal,Before we sleep we will asks God for an answer to our question and whatever comes out in our dream,will be the answer,Cool right ? I know its super childish,But what can one helpless soul do when they need answers and never gets them ? Why the F**k are you so damn hard to forget,Its so easy to forget him, but not you, Its like now, Everywhere i turn to i see you, The corridors,Bus station,Walking in to school,Walking up the stair, Everyday i see you more and more, and leora has helped me, she says that i should just like you ?Should i ? I need more ppl's opnion,I know leora is correct but i want to know what others think too, i will asks them when they are online, But you see, Whats the effin point in liking you, When im just another girl to you ? Im just another girl who walks pass your class to fill in water bottles, Im just another girl whom you see walking up the stairs, Im just another girl you see in the corridors and Im just another girl you see at the bus stop right ? So theres no point,Is there ? Maybe its time i give up on Love and move on in my life, Like how regine said , Leave everything behind and look to the future, Maybe i should but its hard, Soomehow to forget you, Is like forgetting who i belong with, A million people,These feelings are like stuck to my heart and dont want to pull away,no matter what, Its just hard,Thats it, HARD, Everything in life is hard, If life was smooth and easy, It wouldnt be called LIFE, Haissssssssssss, Lets stop loving and start Living ? Hmmm,Living,i am definitely doing that alr, Cant blog anymore, But all it really comes down to is ,
Will You Ever Be Mine ?

sori if the font is TOOO big,hehehe,Didnt know it will turn out that big,

Today school was rather boring because leora<3<3>wasnt there,I miss you babe,Please come to skewl tomorrow,i'll carry you again even if it breaks all my undelicate bones,Dont walk too much,drink alot of water and have a good rests with no burdens,Passed all of them to me if you need to,Becos i will always be there for you,Right here,So sad,But good my progress card for term 3 and im rather happy yet sad,Because i only got A2 for english when i always get and A1,otherwise i was happy with everything else,I got 6 for my L1B2 and if i get this again for 'O' levels confirm can get into St.Andrew's junior college,then in there i will take Bio and maybe physics or chem and also arts,then go to a good UNI,or if i become smarter,which may just happen,i may just apply for a scholarship,after UNI,do Bacherlor's Degree then a Master's Degree,Dont want do phD,very troublesome,I want to become a physologist and help people/teenagers who go through bad stages in their lifes,like me,But afiqa's right,i must first help myself,Hais,I can plan so much but may never reach it,Never mind,I will try my hardest !

To that B!tch,
You sure you didnt say anything,Everyone could keep their mouth shut,Why cant you?! Just becos youre now someone in the school doesnt mean you can become bossier and bitcher,You and your attitude sucks like hell,Sorry but its the effin truth bout YOU,You act soooo big and walk like dun know what,Youre not the person every1 used to know,Youve changed,and become worse as ever,I admit i have a really bad attitude to,But atleast i dont betray my friends,I dont act bigger and better than everyone else just because sooner or later the whole skewl is going 2 know me,I will stay the same,just the way i am no matter what,But you,hais,I have nothing to say,totally speechless,I know its what i think and you dun give a damn,But you were like this to me 2,rmb ? You kept asking me to change because YOU didnt like my attitude,You think yourself so great and everything but one day youre going to lose all your friends because of what you are,

Today school was rather fun,because Leora made it so,Stayed with her the whole/Half day,Even carried her aand now my backs aching like hell,She sprained her ankle and leora i didnt knoww you were that,not light,HAHAHAHA! Was rather RANDOM in the morning, But was better in the late morning,Had chinese oral after skewl,Which totally sucked to the core,Missed out 4-5 words in the passage and couldnt answer the question she asked me,Haiz,sure fail, I saw you two times today,And it hurt alot,This heart and the gulit is still there,I wish everyday that i wont bump into you or see you,but somehow this wish never comes true,The feelings for him are slowly going down,But for you it still remains the same,Will it ever change?Its wrong,Liking you,

To you,
Yes you have changed,in a way that you spend less time with me or us,You talk about 'them' all the time,You spend almost all your time with 'them' You are hardly you anymore,Maybe youve become one of them?I dont know,I just know that youve changed,And you know it to,We hardly laugh together,Sit down and talk,Chat on msn,Even if we do,Its just a few lines or words,But what can i do?Everyone changes in their lives,not everyone remains the same right?And who am i to judge? If youre happy the way you are,Thats really all that matters,

Nothing seems fair nor right anymore,Everythings gone,The laughter,Smile,Love,Happiness,But why not the pain?I cant live without you,Its true,But theres so much time to figure out the rests of my life,Liking you,is so painful,i dont even know why,Lifes rather stressful now,I want to close my eyes forever,Because whenever i do,You appear and everything seems okay,I want to go back to skewl and never come back home,Hes coming home soon,And i wanna run away,Run away from every single tear i shed,Run away from,The pain thats catching up with me,Run away from the Love thats getting to me,I swear sometimes i cant tell which ways up which ways down,Everythings up in my face,need to push it away,somebody push it away so that all i can hear is a simple song,sweet and slow,What i'd give to take away the pain and tears and hear the simple song,I 'd give my life if i have to,But i will wait for that day,when everythings right,and nothing is wrong,