i want to say thank you,even though this is the first time we've ever even talked properly,We've said so much in so little time,You even made me your friend,Im honoured that im your friend becos in just an hour or maybe less,I wish and hope that everyone can get a friend like you,yes you are a bastard at skewl,But really you will amke and is a wonderful friend,jerry,its not easy for me to open up my heartfelt feelings and pains so easily,But when i talk to you,everything that im feeling and thinking justs flows out,like a river turning into a waterfall,I dont trusts people easily,because i have been betrayed many times,But somehow its so easy to trusts you,Jerry i hope our friendship can lasts and will have a greaat time solving each others problems and talking to each other,Thank You for lifting my spirts when i was low just now,Thank You Jerry Kuek for making everything seem worth it again!

Ever since my eyes met yours,since then i have become crazy,Even God seemed crazy to me then,Ever sinced you laughed,talked and fought with me,Since then i am intoxicated,Ever since the threads of our minds got connected,Since then i have started thinking of you,You are a little naive,You are a little mischevious,
You are the sound in my breathe
You are my sixteen types of beauty
You are the wait of my eyes
My believe,My strenght and trusts in you
You are a little untrustsworthy,You are a devil sometimes,Yes but its still true,I like/love you,
Soft sweet slow the wind blows,Soft sweet slow is the rise of the moon,take it slow,and let it sink,Soft sweet love,Will Follow,Im in love i feel so high,Are we ever to meet a again?I am sure we are,Because,We are travelling down the love lane,Down the road we'll meet again,

HAPPY TEACHERS DAY TO EVERY SINGLE TEACHER OUT THERE! Met with my dear regine to go back 2 enous,and saw YNEZ,WENHUI and MASRINA! Meand regine go back skewl see friends not teachers,haha,Anwsk,back at bedok south,had a great time,of cos,There was a guy called Samuel Tan whu could sing superduper well,And well the first group practically sucked,Screamed and shouted for Baba,afiqa,eva and carina,Hmmm,what else can i say?Everything else was perfect,Well because you were there,Thought you wouldnt come today,But you did,Whole day was fun except for the effin maths,Suddenly felt emo,so slacked the last 10mins with Leora,Brandon and syaiful :D,When upstairs to class and sat with shahiran,outside,till bell rang,Poor alema had to carry our stuff but jiaming helped to,:)

Everythings so right all of a suddenly,Everythings falling into place,Im starting to find myself,In me,I have gotten back all the advices that i once shared,and for once in my life,i feel real,loved,secured,happy,warmth,I want to thank all my friends for helping me in this 8months,For everything,From listening to me talk and talk and talk,To crying with me and helping me through depression,i want to thank these,4 wonderful people whu will live in my hearts forever and ever,Leora Lee,Rachel Chan Min,Nur Afiqa and Regine mak,
Thats for all now,Will posts later if i get upset or too happy,=D Love you,

Goodnites,Dream only of sweetness,never sourness,Tomorrow will be another day of decisions,Love,life,hope,trusts and dreams,Love you and Goodnight,<3 May the fairiess sprinkle some fairy dusts on you so that you can fly in your dream,and as for me,well,I will dream about,Love,Everlasting friendship,Peter Pan,Magic,and of cos ME,goodgoodnites,

Tomorrow will be teachers day then the next day will be a HOLIDAY!Im counting the minutes and hours till i will get to see you again,Do you really love me?Do you really have faith in me?Do you have faith in our love?Do you really love me for who i am?Do you really want to be with me forvever?Do you or will you really sarcrifice everything just to be with me?Do you want me no matter what happens to me?Do you really want to stick through every difficulty that comes along?Do you really think im worth waiting for?Do you really think that there will be a tomorrow for us?Do you believe me can make it?Do you really believe in our Love,Faith and Trusts?Do you believe that you'd be with me for life and will hold my hand while walking through storms and sunshines,Because a heart is not a whole without the one that gets you through the storm,

I wished i never had to grow up,Like peter pan,I want to stay a child forever,No problems nor worries,No heart feelings,No heart issues and No friends problems,Before the Storm everything was so peaceful,calm,But when the storm came,which is you,Everything changed,I started drowning myself in my tears,My heart was wandering away,I never wanted it to,but you did,Till today im still figuring out how you won this heart,I dont mind wasting all my time just talking and thinking about you,I dont mind just listening to you talking crap,I dont even mind you breaking my heart a million times,Is this what they call love?Is this Love?Because i dont want it to be,Im to young for Love,But lately,You've made everything the way it was,before the storm,i seriously have nothing to posts about,so will posts when something interesting happens!

Afiqa,just chill and relax,He'll make it through,the way i did with your help,Love you <3,

Im sitting infront of my computer,and youre the only thing on my mind,But somehow,I dont feel right with you in it,In me,Somethings wrong,I can sense it,Somethings going to change,Change us,My stomach is churning,And im starving all of a sudden,But somehow everything also seems Perfect,I wanna let you know how i feel about you,Call me crazy but i wanna know how it feels to have my heartbroken,To cry every single night till theres nothing left to cry about,I wanna know how it feels to not get a wink of sleep,And watch the sunrise while thinking of you and all those good memories,And start crying,I wanna know how it feels to do all this,Somehow You never fail to smile at me,Never fail to make me laugh,Make me feel like everything is Perfect,Right here,Right now,Everythings Perfect,because you made it so,

Sorry bout the the font in the posts before,Didnt know it will turn out so small,sorry if you cant read it,Thank You,

Lately,i feel like youre hiding alot of things from me,Why are we drifting apart?After all that we've been through i still feel this way,I dont know why,but you dont seem convincinig enough,We hardly talk anymore,Please dunt hide anything from me,Because i feel as if you dont trusts me,Dont need me as a friend,But i do,Please tell what youre hiding,If youre not hiding anything,Then tell me tomorrow,Love You,

Lets face it,I like you,till today i have been hiding that fact,I couldnt bring myself to realise it,I shouldnt be,doing all this,Since day one,The day we meet,These feelings have always been there,And i guess will always,The truth is,you were the most annoying person on earth but turned out to be the sweetest,You were immature and diruptive but turned out to be mysterious and funny,You were loud and talktive but your talks were full of meaning to me,Everytime i look at you,i thank God for putting you in this world,I thank him for making you,make me smile,even if it is for a second,You make me want to digg deeper into myself,With you im me,It hurts,that i like you,Hurts alot,Because we are so close yet so far,so cold yet warm,so sour yet sweet,so painful yet beautiful,Im going to follow the wind,the way you do it,Im going to allow myself to do things i never dared dream,in these 5years with you,I dont know if you know,but since the day we met,I fell hard for you,but never realised till now,Never dared say it,Say that i like you,Because i thought it was fake,The feelings,But then,you made me feel secured,loved,warm,happy,calm,and thats all i want,But the truth hurts to,It hurts me to say it,because i guess you will never know till you asks,I will be waiting for that day,The day the truth comes out of these hearts,

I LOVE LEORA,RACHEL AND AFIQA! i <3 U!

ARGH!,no good mood today,someone pissed me off real badly during CME,and ever since then i have wanted to cry,but i cant,I want to Rewind to all those times,That were so easy,Easy to live,to breathe,to believe,to hope and to trusts,I want to rewind to those happy times,that never died,where i was a girl i once knew,Everythings changing,My feelings,what can i say,they are equal,My life is going downhill,except that im goin to EUROPE for my december holidays,bought tickets alr,My friends,not so good,I feel like everyone is running away from me,even thgh theyre not,I feel like i am drifting away from them slowly and all my friendships are evaporating into dust,Thats what i feel,My decisions have led me no where,Im at a road with no directions,My hope and trusts are getting crushed everyday,dun even know why,Afiqa,i know i have put you thrgh so much of pain alr,and dun want to put you thrgh anymore but lately i have been holding everything in,that i cant hold it in anymore,I need and want to talk to you,but im scared and worried that i will disapoint you,the way i did last time,Im scared that im going to lose you and rachel,Im having this feeling like that you both will soon leave me,I have not been myself lately,I get so freaking sad and angry so fast,take today for example,Am i going thrgh depression again?If i am,why?why now?why did it come back and haunt me,If not,then why am i not the same girl i once knew a few months ago,Why?Life seems so dull,The black keys look so beautiful and a Perfect shining rainbow looks so dull,I cant stop thinking about you,You haunt me,The feelings,its haunting me,Cant they stop,I have had enough of life,i want and am ready to give up,I want to rewind to the few months back,when i was the happiest and most blessed girl on earth,I want to rewind and watch the show and not be apart of it,

Im writing for YOU,so you better read it,Rachel...rachel...rachel,what can i say?We have made it so far,with alot of love and pain,In these 8mnths we have a friendship like no other,Yes i have betrayed you,But i regreted everything,And if you didnt have such a big heart,i dont know what and who i will be talking,teasing and making fun of in school,
Yes i am an arsehole sometimes,Yes im rude to you sometimes,Yes i tease you sometimes and put things in your hair,but thats why our friendship is so special,cos u du it 2 me 2!I want to thank you,for helping me find myself and showing me the right path to take,For giving me advice when i needed them,For keeping up with my bloody bad moods,But lately girl,i dont know why,i feel like we're fading,into thin air,I feel you going,going away from me,slowly,I dont know if im dreaming or wht,But thats how i feel now,I wanted to tell you,But im bad at expressing my feelings verbally,so Im telling you now,You made me believe,You made me realise,You listened to me grumbling and talking crap all day,You listened for hours,and didnt mind,You took my hand and showed me what BESTFRIENDS were for,i have never,in my entire 13years have had a greater friend than you,Rachel,Lately we've not been spending much time together,Yes i spend more time with her but you also spent most of your mornings talking to him,and seriously i think he doesnt like me,I know im not one of those wonderful friends,but im doing my best aint i?But rachel im tired,tired of helping others,Im tired of giving ppl advice when they themselves dont even want to help themselves,Im tired of becoming myself,Im just tired,Rachel promise me something,that we will go through these 5years together,holding hands and believing,Even if you go to express,we'll still be friends,even if i lose myself,you be there for me,and i will be there for you,even if i cry,you'll cry with me,and i will do the same,even when i get heartbroken,you will get heartbroken with me,and i'll do the same,Rachel promise me,that we will never allow anyone to destroy oour friendship and as everyday goes by,Our Love,Trusts and Hope grows stronger,and that we will never let go of each others hands?Promise me Rachel,if you can,because Rachel,no matter what happens,i will be there for you,,Throughout the five years of my life and maybe more,I will always keep you in my heart,where you belong,I LOVE YOU!

you were everything i wanted
everything I thought I needed
Then you said that you were leaving
you got my heart in a vault
you were the only one with a key
and i could'nt get free,im still locked in love,always locked in love,i still cant get free,I feel the clouds start to form
in my mind
the rain starts to pour then floods my eyes,maybe im to worthless for you,Why do you still have a grasp on me,i could almost kiss the stars for shinning so bright,what are dreams made of?They are made up of fasle hopes and shattered dreams arent they?Im wondering,sitting infront of my computer and wondering if you would ever turn around,turn back and see,haish,im posting rubbish aint i?i have nothing left to post because my life is very miserable,You were and will always be a stranger in my life,whereas he will always be apart of my life,We are world apart yet i feel as if i have known ever since,kays,i dont know what the hell im talking bout,its all rubbishl,have nothing left to say,should i delete this blog?tell me,

Everythings over,everything i wanted is stuck in black aand white,I dont understand anything anymore,Nothing is on my mind except you,Why is it so hard to give you up,When nothing happened,Why are stuck in my head,When we were never made to be,My heart is bleeding,Bleeding you out,out of my head,and heart,I swore i will never let you back in but somehow you get on my skin,I wanna go with the wind,but youre holding me back,I myself dont understand anything thats happening to me,I alr know that you can never be mine but more and more these days,I see you,even more often,it hurts when i see you becos i know,what iim doing isnt right,im ignoring,everything,You and my feelings,but everytime you come around,the feelings turn gulity,and....Maybe Im just dreaming,Well how i wish,i dont want to wait for anyone,but for myself,i want to wait and see what my heart tells me,but its not,its telling me nothing,i dont want to listen to my mind becos,Any heart matters should always be dealt with the heart,You are so far away yet,so close,

Theres so much i wanna say but i guess i will never get the chance,I should be forgetting you but instead,everyday it gets worse,now im feeling gulity,feeling gulity for leaving,everytime i see your face,the gulityness just grows,im questioning myself,"Should i really be doing this?Ignore everything,allow the gulityness to grow?"Or "should i be allowing myself to atleast look at you and smile?" Everytime i turn around you are there and you'll look at me and for sec or2 our eyes connect,but then aft 2seconds i realise that you can never be mine,and turn away,from you and the feelings,I hope you know this is not easy for me,its hard,the day i found out,i felt so upset and dissapointed by i shouldnt have becos that just meant youre not mine,and will never be,im permantly heart-broken,since 5,i dont know why,but you gave me hope,hope 2 live again,but i guess it was wrong,i shouldnt have ever looked at you,I hope you know how much i want 2 cry,but becos of everything thats going on,if i cry,it will just get worse,Everyday,i see more and more of you,everywhere i go and turn,Just run away,run far away,so that i can breathe,even though youre far from suffocating me,Maybe i should just give up,Its no use waiting around for you,when theres a great great chance,you'll never come,It just took me a second to look in your eyes but its taking me forever to pull away from those eyes,Then in that second,there was hope but after that,nothing but shattered hopes and dreams,

My dear,this happens in every teenagers life.The questions,Is that person attacted?,Whu does that person like?Du i like that person?Sweetheart,trusts your guts and heart,The 2 things 2 trusts forever,so what if that person is not truly yours,its your life my dear,your decisions,no one can take it for you,Yes,of cos Love is torturing and pain but after that comes blissfullness,Take chances and wait for that person,but dont wait 2 long,It will just hurt,I know how u feel,excatly,i was in the same dilema,but girl dont bottle up your feelings,you have gotta learn to tell someone you trusts everything because,you'll just hurt more,trusts me,i only got better after i found my trusts in you,rachel and afiqa...Yes,life at this age is stressful and painful,but as you grow older it will only get harder,as far as he is concern,dont use your mind when it comes to the matters of the heart,you have to be happy and you have 2 feel secured,thats all that matters,honey.
Remember,im always there for you and will be there 2 lend u a shoulder 2 cry on or a listening ear to complaint and grumble to,i love you ever so greatly <3
XOXO,
SoulSis<3

Im taking a step at a time,im climbing,slowly...I cry every night,im dying every night,but as the days coome,the pain grows...This pain is different,it isnt the same,this pain brings happiness,im dying but still trying,i want to fly but i cant,dont know why but somethings stopping me from,flying a million miles...More and more these days,i just dont know,how its going to be,who i am...Maybe because of my personal problems i have with my family thats affecting me all over again?Or maybe i need to search deeper...Its hard 2 figure out whats going to happen,I want to understand,im trying to understand but i dont wanna wait 2 long to found where i am 2 belong,i never thght that i will ever feel this way...i never wanted all this to happen either,this pain and sorrow,they come so easyily but it takes a lifetime to make them go away...To all my extrodinary friends out there,you guys have tried your best to make me feel like everythings fine and perfect and fun,i swear i could wish in a world like that,but now,now that i know what pain feels like,what it feels like to be hurt so deeply by the one whom doted on you since you came to earth,but in the end,gave you and your family the most pain and sorrow in the world and made me witness things a five year old girl could never forget...nor forgive,Im sorry,afiqa,rachel and leoar if im being stubborn...for not forgetting and forgiving but,what can i do...im cut too deep to ever feel again,It makes me fearless...it makes me feel fearless,

im not the type to get my heart-broken.Im not the type to get upset and cry cause i never leave my heart open.It never hurts me to say Goodbye...My mind has been played with...deep inside in my tears i'll drown...I cant figure out how you stole my heart,but no matter what no one will ever see me cry...Im the type whu hides all my sorrow and tears.Im the type which can never shed a tear,but inside,i shed till instead of water,blood appears...The blood which i forced out of me...Why did you have to enter my world?I had enough with almost everything,I had almost gotten over anything,but i guess God just wanted me to cry even harder...Im tired all over again...And in my hour of weakness i havent given up...I havent given up,living...Living for my Family and friends but i dont live for myself because i will never,i always put my friends way before me,They are my family and companions in my life...My family is in mid-crisis which doesnt help. My friends understand me,but i dont understand any part of me anymore...Maybe i just need to perk myself up...As far as im concerned,you r just another picture to burn.

I just solved everything that has happened in my life,but now another problem just aroused,Should i push it aside or solve it now? :0...I THINK im falling...2 quickly...fr 'you'...But i think its just a feeling that will lasts for one day! So i should be fine! Everything seems so wonderful and perfect...everything is so beautiful...NO SCHOOL TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;DDD! But,im sad...Dont know why,but once i look into your eyes,i cant take them of you,Which is NOT okay...Haish,girls got so many problems,but guys...It so easy for them...They just dont understand how long it takes to say gudbye,when it took a second to say hello...Im so lucky that i have friends like RACHEL B,NUR AFIQA RADEN N LEORA LEE QI YAN! Their always there for me...I trusts them with my life,heart and soul...They r there when im,sad,angry,depressed,happy,hyper,beautiful,bitchy,ugly,rude,excited...they have been thrgh everything with me...n i just wanna say that LOVE THEM WITH ALL MY HEART!

Lets see,Afiqa says that she has a feeling he is the one...Leora says God wants me 2 choose between bth of them...Rachel says go 2 express...But i swear,that i will nrv go...cos it wnt solve the prob...n i h8 the express students...But i think...yes,he maybe the one...Why?because hes there or appears in front of me when im thinking bout him....I know its a very bad reason but its the only one i got...but you on the other,Afiqa says that youre not the faithful type and i believe her...Yes,you make me feel so wonderful and alive,but if youre not faithful...then...whats the point...He is not handsome,not perfect nor is he wonderful,but theres something...just something bout him...that makes me feel like hes the one...i know i should trusts my instincts and heart,but i think i will wait...Sometimes something in me tells me to look at the other side,i turn and i see u walking....It wasnt all that hard in the end 2dae...as i didnt look nor talk 2 him...and neither did he...But still i havent talked to he...but all we do is look...2dae i caught his eyes 2times...haisss....whats the point in rushing...lets sit back and relax...but tell me one thing,what hurts more.thinking you hate him or knowing that you dont?

Im scared...There i finally said it...Im scared of facing you...Im scared that the feelings will come up again...Im scared of losing...Im fighting all my feelings,which i know is totally wrong but i got 4years and 2months...Which is long...so there is time...But the problem is,The more i ignore the more you come closer,so shld i still ignore you or except the fact?Im finally me again,i got myself out of sadness and misery,But the fact that i have to face you everyday of my life,scares me...I dont want those feelings i fought to come back again...Im finally settled down and solved all of my problems and i dun wish to get stuck in 1 so soon...Suddenly its easy then its hard all over again! Yes,you make me laugh and smile but you make me cry so much...You dont know how much a girl like me has to deal with...Not that other girls dun have these problems...For me,my friends love is enough for me...I trust them with,my soul.my heart and my life...Its hard...Somethings in life cant be denied...What is it that makes me feel like this?What du u du that i feel,so happy and secured when i am with you?What is it that is soooo hard to fight?I cant run away again,it will only get harder...I need a solution...Anyone with a solution?PLease leave a tagg if you!

I've always gone with the wind but i couldnt find wings,but girl you came along and changed everything...I know i've let you down...You showed me soo many things i couldnt see...You opened my eyes...You made me believe but i gave up so easily,whereas you tried you best...You showed me what living is for....When im with you everything seems perfect and wonderful...You know what to do and say to make me laugh...I'd want to go back 2 every laugh we had and go back there...Those happy times we had,once i was not a broken girl...But because what i went thrgh a month ago...The tables changed...You knew what i was going thrgh and went thrgh it with me...I feel lost without you...I want to go back being happy...cos everything has made me upset and angry and weak...I broke your heart and made you cry...I want to wipe those tears...And go back and be that happy-go-lucky girl,cos i know that that happy-go-lucky girl is still in me...Deep inside I am there...I have to digg and find...I shouldnt be letting every1 i love down and do the dirty work for me,i will do all the work frm now...I really dun want to let you down again girl....Youre really special 2 me ....And you knw that...cos i trusts you with my heart,soul and life and no other girl or person can replace that...This is a letter for afiqa...The girl whom i have let down tremendously...

Well,i guess i finally figured myself out,I'll just have 2 forgt,bt i wnt be tt simple nor easy...It will get harder everyday,cos when i ignore you,you come closer...I want ran away but you catch me just in time! I got all the time,well just 5years and on the other hand,i dun even know you,what youre like,How you r like...So theres no point in me just knowing your name,when you dun even knw i exsists! So i have learnt that there is something called,FORGET,but it will be super hard,becos i see you everyday...i was holding on the days dragged by,i was such a fool 2 wait for you...I was naive and gt lost in yr eyes and i didnt know tt 2 be in love you haf 2 fight 2 haf the upper hand...But i fly without...i dont need a man 2make me feel gud..i dont need a man 2 make me feel special..I dont need a man...i seriously dun cos im happy being single and being surrounded with soooooooooooooooooooooo much luv frm my wonderful and loveable fwens that i fall deeper in love with everyday! Loves super bittersweet and we've gotta accept that ppl!

It struck me,just...Girl,we've had so much fun 2gether,i dont want it 2 end in tragedy,This world is cruel,but every1 around us makes it soo special,escpically some ppl...Whu'll stay in our hearts,maybe forever...Please,dont compare yourself to them.They are super special ppl 2 me and so r u,its just that sometimes i feel a little insecure with you...Sometimes i feel youre hiding things frm me...Sometimes i feel that i dont even belong in that world of yours...I know i aint the nicest,sweetest or mostcaring friend you've ever had,but girl,im trying...im seriously am...I know its been hard for you so far,but so have i,i need time to get myself back 2gether...I need to get back on my feet by myself...I need to pick up the pieces and fix them back 2gether.Girl,we both know what we've been through...I dont want you to think that you are the cause of everything,when youre not...Remember the promise?

Somethings definitely wrong...i have a feeling...that 2mrs going 2 be a difficult day for me..maybe becos of what happened 2dae...It happened.i knew it would.We gt bck 2gether and a week or 2 later we fight again...Its totally useless isnt it,we've tried bt cnt suceed...So lets just let go,im tired of breaking up and making up..im seriously tired.

You said that there will always be a way...But lately i dont knw which road to take.Im at a crossraods full of Love.Lust.Lies. Im full of lies.Im made up of lies.Im happy where i am but i dun feel happy.Everything i do makes me sad.When i see ppl laugh and smile,i wonder why i cnt be as real as them.Everything i do is fake but i guess i du act well,cos no one knows whats going on inside me.My heart beats to fast,i cant keep up with time.Alot of ppl r starting to piss me off.I feel worthless and useless.I know and blame myself for everything that happens in this broken family of mine.But im still strong.I still live thrgh eaach day like i haf done for 2years.Peolpe look at me and say,so bubbly and happy and i think to myself,how i wish!I seem so happy and bubbly on the outside bt on the inside,its endless pain,and another thing im seriously bd at is that i allow the pain to come and make its way into me,even knowing that it'll be painful bt i haf done it fr so many years...The pain that comes and goes,all numb.Im so gud and comfarting other ppl and giving them advice,why cnt i du it fr myself?Why! I am at a crossroad and i have to chose between,Family.Friends.Love.

I thought you said it was easy listening to you heart,i thought you said i'd be okay so why am i falling apart?maybe i shld think before i speak.These walls im buliding,have come crashing down.Im torn,dont make me have 2 chose between what i want and what i need,even little girls have dreams,Maybe I will never be
Who I was before
Maybe I don't even know her anymore
Maybe who I am today
Ain't so far from yesterday
Can I find a way to be
Every Part of Me...i dun know who am i...i dun remember being such a sad,painful girl...i need 2 find myself and gt my feet bck on the ground...it'll take time bt i knw i'll be okay...At this point in my life,i wish i could turn right into someones arms..and feel the warmth that i've nt felt in a long time...i've always been and done things alone,bt now...i have fwens there for me,when i fall off this track of mine...But i dun know me anymore...I knw i wont be alone,i hope 2 see all of you at the finish line.

im tired...i want to slip but i feel restless and pain(nt every1 understands this type of pain)i dont understand this stranger heart anymore,its got me.and this time really bad! Very few understanding souls understand me...im i that difficult to read?Do i hide my tears so perfectly well?Do i hide my broken-heart away so well,that no one sees it?Do i hide the other,painful and sorrowful side of me that well that no one notices?Maybe my effort is paid off...Only a few know me...22 well! I knw what i am,and no i dun give a damn! Somedays i can be a super-bitch the next day im the sweet girl next door bt truly everday,im crazy crazy crazy! Being crazy is so fun,it makes u frgt all yr responsibilities and pain bt aft awhile they all cm bck...and it becmes a burden...a very painful burden..And for a girl at my age..its seriously hard 2 cope,The skewl,The nagging,The studying,The fwens,The Family Problems,The Failing the comes The Love...haiz,what 2 du..this heart of myne has become a total stranger to me..

HELLO! :D.Currently in school posting...Boring school..it sucks like hell!!!! its like everyone is soo emo or upset..onli afiqa is sooo HYPER!!! which keeps me going everyday1 shes sooo wonderful,Day by day sh understands my pain that im going thrgh...i know i can turn 2 her no matter what happnes,she'll be there...2dae skewl started with miss chews wonderful screming and shouting..damn pain slah my ear..nw im in com lab..my stomach very pain...its red light! haiz,i feel so tired even thgh i slept like the whole nite..n tis thing n pain im having is called depression.i gt upset and moody really fast then next minute im like super hyper!bb fr nw l8 will continuue n syaiful i DUN HAF ANY BF AND I DUN LIKE ANYONE!!!

Yes youre there bt the more i see you the more i feel like i haf 2 wait...But wats the use when u dun knw hw i feel abt you....The Black Keys Never Looked So Beautiful And A Perfect Rainbow Has Never Looked So Dull,And the lights out never had a brighter glow...Everything seems better black and white...Why does everything havee 2 be so hard?And you make them look so simple...You make life look and feel so easy...I want 2 pick up my tears but i cant,they feel so heavy...I wish i could turn right into someones arms,cos i knw im going 2 fall of this track sometime...My lifes full of endless pain and responsiblities that i cant fufil...I've done everything i can and i nd 2 break down and breathe...The air seems so unclear and its so hard to breathe it in...youre smooth talking,slow rocking,hes gt everything a girls wantin...Think i may be falling fr his smile...Hes definitely gt something special and somethings telling me that he could be the one...Hes lightening and sparks are flying...I cnt help me on hw my heart is racing...Maybe He could Be The ONE...

Its changing...Hearts telling me 2 wait...My mind is telling me 2 give up...wat du i du...When i nd u...u r nt there...Seriously,what is love?is it when youre up all nite thinking of him?Is it when youre yearning fr him nrv stops?Is it when both of us r willing to hold each others hands n walk thrgh the storm?Is it when you bth see twinkles in each others eyes?Is it when you bth make scarifies fr each other?When! When is it love n What is it?I always thght i knew,bt nw...when i nd my knowlegde the most,it rans away.

Friendship.Love.Lust.

All three will suck at a point in life,where you'll fail in all.Im in tt very situation.Friendship doesnt n will never suck fr me,cos i haf true,crazy,wonderful,caring fwens...but fr love and lust...dun asks...Failed terribly.i was just thinking.Mayb i was just dreaming.Mayb it nrv did happen,all the eye contact thingy.Mayb i was realli dreaming,cos im losing my mind in the rain and why the raain,cos when ure in the rain no one knws if youre crying or nt,bt it hurts in the rain,cos with every strike of lightening comes a memory tt lasts and nt a word is left unspoken as the thunder starts 2 crash...I've given up...waiting n waiting...i was a stupid fool 2 think tt you'll realise and come...i rather be all alone....than wait fr you in the rain...sometimes i wish...i wish tt i wasnt so ugly..mayb you'd wnt me...bt 2 bd...cos i knw no matter hw unbeautiful i may lk on the outside..i knw im super beautiful on the inside,and tt one day,someone will be waiting n wanting me and will actualli b thinking of me...n tt person will gt me thrgh any storm....i dun feel any pain..cos its all numb..bt i want 2 wish u all the best in yr life n hope u find wat youve been looking fr...i will look in the mirror and keep on shinning and keep on climbing,cos till the game ends and till the clock stops,i'llbe living my life with no regrets...with Friendship.Love.Lust.