its the onli solution i haf...running away..yes,i knw im being a coward..bt wat 2 du....i knw i cn nrv ever end up wit you so...mayb in my dreams...we'll sail far far away frm misery n pain n b filled wit happines..bt tt isnt goin 2 happen....

No,im nt in love.Yes,i du not like u.Yes,i seriously hate you 2 the core.No,i will never fall for you.No,my feelings fr you dunt gt deeper fr u everyday.

All that is LIES.this is hw the story ends.Lies.tts hw it ends.Full of bloody Lies tt make my life so miserable,bt wat else can i du?! i cnt jus keep allowing u 2 make me weak when im actually very strong.i cnt allow you 2 gt 2 my heart.i dun want 2 wait fr you.i dun want you 2 nt knw hw i feel abt you,bt i dun like you! i like you then a second later,i hate you.bt its wrong,its time i made my decision.If my heart cnt decide then my mind will,n my mind says its nt you.I agree with my mind.You cnt b the one.Never will be.The time is passing so quickly bt wit u,it zooms by.Mayb...Just mayb,One day you'll knw hw much i liked you,even thgh i didnt show...You'll look bck n see hw i reali did want you,bt by tt time it'll b 2 late....cos i wnt wait...im nt willing 2 wait...i'd love to chase stars n lose our shadows...bt you dun knw..u knw nth..cos im acting....im acting tt i hate you 2 the core,and mayb one day i cn stop acting...Everyday...i dun knw hw i gt thrgh everyday,im standing next 2 you,bt i swear n im sure,you dun c me.you can look thrgh the whole room,bt you'll miss my heart...bt im trying.Leora gve me advice n im doing watever she tld me...i jumped every brigde bt i cnt jump over you.Im ignoring you.i will du it,bt i dun knw hw long it'll last,cos fr me...there r loads of boundaries...

yes,i knw im in the wrong.No am nt pushing any blames 2 u.Y cnt b happily 2gether?wat happened 2 the promise we made.Im telling u hw i feel,isnt tt gud?rather then i go backstabb u n hide all my feelings inside n dun make tis an honest relationship.Yes,i du feel like a transperant glass,cos whenever their there fr u,I feel as if u jus nd me when u dun haf any1...Yes,i dun reali knw u,cos everytime you gt bck 2gether,1month later we fight again...the other 2 of my realli gud fwens r special n so r u..its jus tt...im seriously comfartable wit them(nt tt im nt wit u)n when we fight,we dun shout at each other by smsing,we talk calmy n slowly n find out wat the prob reali is n then solve it.Im comfartable wit u bt sometimes im nt,n i havent figured tt out yt..n my depression is seriously nt becos of u...n i realli hate it,when u gt angry wit me all of a sudden n start accusing me of treating u wrongly cos i knw i nrv did n never will.Youre a realli gud fwen n i dun wanna lose u...bt watever happens i'll still b there fr u...

I HOPE YOU C THIS.

& when i first met you,i never imagined that i would have such strong feelings for you.I never would have thought tt i wld haf dreams abt you or missed your smile or gt butterflies in my stomach when some1 mentions yr name.& when i first met you...you were annoying bt sweet...you're talks were irritating bt in thhe end became sweet words my ear yearns to hear...youre smile crooked bt in the end became something i dreamt of n wld brighten up my day...you're eyes 2 shiny n bright bt in the end made me lose myself 2 you...yr teases tt pissed me off day by day...became a routine tt i gt familiar 2...& when i first met you..i never nt even once thght or imagined tat i wld love you...

its getting worse everyday...i cnt move a muscle...i wrapped up in vines tat dun wanna let me go..when the rain comes..i dun knw y..bt youre the first 2 come 2 my mind...n with every strike of lightening theres a memory tat lasts...i love the rain cos when i stand in it no one knws if im crying or nt..n tats when i pour out all i have in these tired eyes...these eyes tat haf been yearning fr u..bt haf stopped...becos...these r tired n worn out...no sleep...no tears...no u...these eyes haf realised their mistake..n haf ppromised 2 never repeat it...i wil b better in time....i tink u dun even notice me when im there....n all those scars on my arms;Dont worry.theyre jus little reminders of how many times you broke my heart...

i quit becos you havent confessed you onli kknw hw 2 beat round the bush
i quit becos im tired of pretending day and night
i quit becos i knw i may nrv be yours
i quit becos youre making me weak n its irritating
i quit becos of the HELL you put me thrgh,jus thinking and forgetting abt u!

im insecure bt happi
im cold n cruel bt i knw wat im doing
i laugh at ppls dreams
im bittersweet
im a mystery
i cnt keep a secret fr more than an hour
i run on 100 proof attitude power
i believe in everything and anything
yes im a bitch at times cos youre one 2
i knw jus wat 2 say so tt yr whole day is ruined
im 2 2 much 2 handle
i may jus the gurl youre looking fr bt believe me im nt.

i haf mood swings tat change every second
i do nt gt jealous fast
i hate it when ppl treat me like nth when theyre something 2 me
i hate when ppl look dwn on me jus becos im in NA n in BDS class 1E,which rawks like hell.
i hate when bitches stare at me
i hate n love at anytime i want
but at the end of it all im jus simply n perfectly ME.

i quit becos you havent confessed you onli kknw hw 2 beat round the bush
i quit becos im tired of pretending day and night
i quit becos i knw i may nrv be yours
i quit becos youre making me weak n its irritating
i quit becos of the HELL you put me thrgh,jus thinking and forgetting abt u!

im insecure bt happi
im cold n cruel bt i knw wat im doing
i laugh at ppls dreams
im bittersweet
im a mystery
i cnt keep a secret fr more than an hour
i run on 100 proof attitude power
i believe in everything and anything
yes im a bitch at times cos youre one 2
i knw jus wat 2 say so tt yr whole day is ruined
im 2 2 much 2 handle
i may jus the gurl youre looking fr bt believe me im nt.

i haf mood swings tat change every second
i do nt gt jealous fast
i hate it when ppl treat me like nth when theyre something 2 me
i hate when ppl look dwn on me jus becos im in NA n in BDS class 1E,which rawks like hell.
i hate when bitches stare at me
i hate n love at anytime i want
but at the end of it all im jus simply n perfectly ME.

my dearest fwen whus been there fr me thrgh thick n thin...youre the person i trusts the most n will always be there for you the waay you've been there for me...its just 7months n we haf such a gr8 fwenship tt every1 can b jealous of...we du almost everything 2gedergeder..scld other gurls frm other classes.scld teachers behind their bcks,til u gt caught one day :p. Girl youre very special 2 me..cos u knw everything tt goes on in my lifee..n i tink youre the onli fwen whu helps me solve my probs...youre beautiful inside n outside n yes i love u as a fwen...youve been wit me when im depressed,jealous,sad,frustrated,cool,tried,hyper,crazy,crying,get heartbroken,ugly n beautiful...our inside jokes 2 many 2 name..when we're apart its nrv the same..when we're 2gedergeder its nth bt real fun..replacing you can nrv b done....i luv u!

i knw this isnt wat i wanted.We were young and times were easy bt i cld see its not the same.Im standing here bt you dun c me.Im standing out in the rain,flooded with all this pain knwing tt i'll never hold you like i did before the strom and with everystrike of lightening comes a memory tat lasts..Not a word is left unspoken as the thunder starts to crash.The clouds from ripping oout my broken heart.We always say a heart is nt a whole without the one who gets thrgh the storm...i tink i've been waiting long enough or am i jus dreaming cos u dazzle me so much...how i wish i wasnt tt unbeautiful mayb then jus mayb it'll b easier...bt im beautiful in my own ways...Beauty lies in the inside nt outside...n i knw im beautiful in the inside becos i've been brght up wit loads of love and care...n my mum nuture me n thght me values n made me understood my life n the meaning of it..she told me i cld reach fr the moon...she tld me i was beautiful..she tld me 2 believe...n i did...n im happi..n i wil b happi fr u 2...watever u choose...cos i've gone thrgh so much hurt n pain tat a little more wouldnt make a difference...n i also knw tt in the end will b fwens n onli fwens..nth more nth less...n i wldnt mind...cos im nt those type whu crys over boys...bt fr nw..its nobody..no one rules my heart..no one bt me..n i wil gve it onli 2 mr.rite...whu wil come..cos whenn god made me..he made some1 fr me..some1 whu'll b rite next 2 me thrgh storm,rain n sunshine,whu wil b willing 2 walk the seven seas wit me while holding my hand...whu will promise n then make sure he fufills it...that will b my soulmate fr the rest of my life....

wat am i 2 u? i reali dun wanna fight bt i feel like youre treating me like a piece of transperant glass. You always say no one cares...no one understands you n tat every1 is drifting away..but aint i there? r those 2 ppl u reali care abt?cos im reali hurting...u say i understand u the most..yes i du...bt wats the point in understanding u when im treated like this.girl youre 1 in a million n i reali dun wanna lose you bt the way youre treating me...its wrong..im the onli 1 there when u cry n laugh..im the one whu makes u laugh when youre gonna cry...i hope u knw hw much u mean 2 me girl...cos i never wanna lose u....
THIS IS FR MY GURL
THIS IS FR TAT SPECIAL PERSON...

If time was still
The sun would never never find us
We could light up
The sky tonight
I would see the world through your eyes
Leave it all behind

If it's you and me forever
If it's you and me right now
That'd be alright
Be alright
We're chasing stars to lose our shadow
Peter Pan and Wendy turned out fine
So won't you fly with me

Oh yeah
Gonna fly with me now

Now the past
Can come alive
And give it meaning
And a reason
To give all I can
To believe once again

If it's you and me forever
If it's you and me right now
That'd be alright
Be alright
We're chasing stars to lose our shadow
Peter Pan and Wendy turned out fine
So won't you fly with me

Maybe you were just afraid
Knowing you were miles away
From the place where you needed to be
And that's right here with me

It's you and me forever
You and me right now
That'd be alright
We're chasing stars to lose our shadow
Peter Pan and Wendy turned out fine
So won't you fly with me

If it's you and me forever
If it's you and me right now
I'd be alright
Be alright
We're chasing stars to lose our shadow
Peter Pan and Wendy turned out fine
So won't you fly
Fly
Fly with me

i didnt realise..i reali didnt that u slowly captured my heart while i fell for some1 else...i didnt knw..u were there bt i never thought that u could be the one cause he was there all the time..but you werent...you were there then gone..we havent even talked properly yet bt..i have looked into yr eyes n so haf u......i realised he wasnt the one bt u were..bt nw i have no choce cos other ppl knw..knw n think something else of me n him..i knw if this rumour reaches you..you go n leave me bt uim telling u..hes not the one..im sure he isnt..he cant be the one...bt im sure u r..i haf never felt this way before....i know u dont even knw my name bt soon you'll know,if were made for each other..bt i haf conditions..n the one that can fufill them is the one...

CONDITIONS:
he has 2 respect me,my decisions,my family and my fwens.he has 1 realise hes not my life nor my soul unless i am his.He doesnt haf 1 treat me like a queen he just has 2 make me forgt the world by letting me hol hids hand thrgh sunshine,rain and storm.He has 2 knw im nt willing 2 wait forever for him unless he is. He can flirt as much as he want,he can make gurld fall head over heels for him bt at the end of the day,he has 2 stay faithful.these r my conditions..i knw their alot 2 asks bt i knw i'll one day find a guy who will n can fufill them....

2dae is n wil be the worse day of my life because i made it. i knew something bad was gonna happen n change our lives..n im sure this is it...first it was yesterday n nw its 2dae..hw many probs can a teenage girl haf...i cant even solve any of them! which onli makes it worse....i believe in everything, love, lust, fwenship bt nw yuo've changed the tables..i bet is your the whole world knows not mine! how would u n yr bloody fucking fwens knw wheter i like u or nt! what u knw abt me?! only six months rite! nt even a year n u think i gt feelings fr u!! what if i dun leh? then hw? u knw whu i like n yet u du this....hope u died! thats all for 2dae!

If you ever asks me.....then i will say yes..but you have 2 asks me...dont asks any1 else but me...becos only i knw wat i want...n my true feelings....yes i knw i need 2 treasure my heart......but i think you are the one..or mayb nt....bt sooner or l8er......i dun knw whether this feelings wil stil b there.....you make me feel beautiful when i haf nth left 2 prove..n i cant imagine how'd i make it thrgh....without you.....i dun knw this heart of myne anymore..it seems to wander off...i feel diffierent...bt u make it all better...

todae waited fr rachel in the morning at the bus stop then walked 2 skewl wit her...then was english gt heaps of scolding bt no one cares! then aesthetics! MOVIEMAKING!! i love it! bt clara nrv act always me n dinah slah..bt henry's 'HongmaliHongmali was super duper funny..we had 2 redo that scence five times coz we couldnt stop laughing..then recess...i forgt wat i ate bt i suddenly luv chrysentummum tea.(my spelling sucks...)Then was boring boriing maths..during tt time henry go throw paper balls at the express students then one of them piss off then he throw bck at us scld us,"F**k u CB" then henry say,"huh?u gt? so poor thing!" it was super funny except the part where syaiful keep calling me polar bear.....(freakkkk u)then had 2 go comp lab frr resaerch then had english test which i finished in 2omins..then walk wit rachel 2 mrt station...luckily nrv c tt guy.then go bck 2 home sweet home..then come home eat,bath then go 2 clarke quay..nw jus come home....haiz sooo tired....to the bitch:dun act lar! u knw wat u did! u knw tat u changed and nw like shit even shes beter than u!

i love this song....listen 2 it....

LYRICS:

lyrics:If you're the air that I breathe,Tell me why I'm suffocatingIf you're the promise that I keepTell me why it's breakingDon't let go of my handI need you to keep holding on(I need you to keep holding on)You're the wings, let me flyNow my altitude is fadingYou had me up so highIt's too far, now to face itThis can't be the endI need you to keep holding on(I need you to keep holding on)You been here from the startAnd baby, now, you want my heart (heart)If we let this fall apartWe lose everythingWhatever happensWhen this world is closing inWe keep paying for our sinsI can feel the cost of this lovingWhatever happensIf our truth becomes a lieI don't know how I'll surviveCan't you see me hanging on for lifeWhatever happens is isWhatever happens is isWhatever happens is isDon't let go of my handWhatever happens is isWhatever happens is isWhatever happens is isDon't let go of my handSee my knuckles, still and whiteNow I feel my hands slippingEvery day and every nightThink I'm losing grip andThe way inside is becoming too much to hold (too much to hold)You're my sun, you're my starUuh, you're my God givenLet you inside my worldI still want you in itI need you in my lifeAnd I just can't let you go(can't let you go)You been here from the start (start)And baby, now, you want my heart (heart)If we let this fall apartWe lose everythingWhatever happensWhen this world is closing inWe keep paying for our sinsI can feel the cost of this lovingWhatever happensIf our truth becomes a lieI don't know how I'll surviveCan't you see me hanging on for lifeWhatever happens is isWhatever happens is isWhatever happens is isDon't let go of my handWhatever happens is isWhatever happens is isWhatever happens is isDon't let go of my handI'm holding on to a love sceneNo matter moreWanna love this oneLast grip and don'tLose the chance to findAll that we were living forI would hold on foreverPaste our love back togetherJust promise meWhatever happens(Whatever happens)When this world is closing inWe keep paying for our sinsI can feel the cost of this lovingWhatever happensIf our truth becomes a lieI don't know how I'll surviveCan't you see me hanging on for lifeWhatever happens is isWhatever happens is isWhatever happens is isDon't let go of my hand (don't let go)Whatever happens is isWhatever happens is isWhatever happens is ïsDon't let go of my hand

i feel like tat tree in the middle......the leaves on the floor r the audience ....i thght i'd be down there bt i guess fate changed everything....im stuck...lost...cold..and opened...my heart is opened...i locked it n threw it bt it found its way back..slowly..it creeped back 2 me..n found its place in me...and nw becos i threw it away..its giving me the hardest time of my life.....what r we fighting for?!i'd rather just be alone then go thrgh this painful and hurtful road...i need 2 digg deeper into my heart...i dun tink tis is my heart..i dun even recongnise it! ..i need 2 listen closely but its telling me nothing...nothing...when i need my heart the most..it doesnt talk bt when i dun need it, it causes trouble..heaps and heaps of trouble.....i'll wait fr the answer patiently..i'll wait for u 2 give me an answer and in the mean time...as ta la vista baby! xoxo....

i dreamt abt him yesterday night...n it was the first time i dreamt of him! i cant believe that this is happening 2 me! i dun want this 2 happen! i do my best 2 not think of him bt sommehow hes always in my mind..everything i do,makes me think of him..n i gt no one 2 tell tis 2...sometimes i wish bth of u nrv existed! u make life soo fucking difficult fr me!! how?! how the hell is this possible?! i always kept my heart locked away bt somehow u opened it...then...he had 2 appear..n it changed everything....n you HAD 2 ask her? stupid! she doesnt know anything! of cos she wld haf said no..i tell her half the truth....you make everything in life look soo simple and fun...n when u smile....you blow me away...bt he is stil there making me haf butterflies in my stomach.....

i wish i could fly away with you and stay they forever...
you don't know whaat you've done...You've open my heart...
You've made it soo difficult to breathe...soo difficult to think...soo difficult to hear and listen....
You don't know me..im different..i can't fall soo easily...no..im stronger than this...
im soo much stronger than this...

school today was super duper fun! morning went to say happy bday 2 my dear fwen leora-BOO!! i love u! i gave her a love letter...then the fucktard guy keep staring at me...hate u asshole! drank milo n waited for my beloved afiqa, i luv her cos she rawksss!!! then aft tt we go up ahbraham corner and kena punishment..nw we haf 2 sit there, the whole class till the whole skewl go back hall sit, then must sing national anthem very very loud if not will kena even more! Then go fr F&N..then in my whole group(RAchel, my sweetheart and bernard, mr i lost everything)! i was the only person whu did all the hmwork bt i did wat i wasnt suppose 2 du becoz my lovable rachel yesterday dun want pick up her phone! so had 2 redo everything then bernard lost everything tt we needed 2 pass up(Boys r sooo unrealiable an irresponsible slah!!)and then hd 2 redo so mani things bt cldnt finish so next week then pass...then recess! ate half a burger and sat wit aelma, the elmo lover, leora-BOO! and tay kailing...i saw someone i shld haf avoided bt cldnt so my heart was racing, then was boring maths bt teacher nrv come soooo...PARTY! we nrv listen 2 the relief teacher.....bt syaiful aka botak and jerry keep on disturbing me like hell!!!! then was science...paid a attention a lil bt felt like falling aslip..then bell ring!!! go home! bt nope..i help out fr leo bday party surprise which was organzine by the crazy eva...we ate pizza sand happy bday then waited fr rachel to finish eating then walked to mrt with her then parted a sad goodbye...haiz nw i stuck at hm wit my mother....byebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebye...i very crazy!

Broken Hearts and Last Goodbyes Restless Nights and Lullibies Helps make this pain go away I realize,Filled with sorrow, filled with pain...you are to blame for leaving my heart out in the rain..your promises all empty....i waited and waited but no one came to get me in the rain...

im sick...haf a bad soar throat and fewer....haiz..day by day my feelings for you grow deeper....how would you know how i feel about you....you would if you hadn't asked someone else how i felt abt you! tat person doesn't know everything abt me...i keep alot of secrets 2 myself and guess wat u were one of them i wonder i yoou can c me as jus a friend coz i cnt! seeing you a hundred times a day makes me go crazy bt no! i had 2 push my feelings fr you aside because you could never like me...i made myself believe tat but i cant lie 2 myself anymore! i tink of you day n nite n gues wat?? im starting 2 dream of you bt i knw im dreaming 2 much soooo tata!

Can Love With All Of My Heart, Baby i Know I Have So Much To Give, but with A Player Like You I Don't Have A Prayer that's The Way To Live...i Was Young and In Love i Gave You Everything but It Wasn't Enough and Now You Wanna Communicate,go Find Someone Else and Letting You Go i'm Loving Myself you Got A Problem but Don't Come Asking Me For Help...That's how much I love you That's how much I need you And I can't stand ya Almost everything you do Makes me wanna smile Even I like you for a while But I hate it... You know exactly what to do So that I can't stay mad at you For too long that's wrong And I hate how much I love you boy I can't stand how much I need you And I hate how much I love you boy But I just can't let you go And I hate that I love you so One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me And your kiss won't make me weak But no one in this world knows me the way you know me So you'll probably always have a spell on me....

i am soo tired wit yr nonsense....1 minute u say tt will b 2gether forever...then 1minute later u r out wit her?!!! im HUMAN!! i haf feelings to!! wat?! am i a fucking dog 2 u! wat did she du fr u?! i was the one whu cried wit u when u needed me 2...i turned yr tears into laughter..i made u frget yr pain...i solved all yr stupid problems jus 2 make u feel better...ure the only thing i knw like the back of my hand but u broke my trusts again...i never wanted 2 c u hurt so i swerved every single bump in our road so tt u dun haf 2 cry everynite bt in the end..aft all the shit i did fr u..u still picked her..i dun hate u! i hate her fr turning u into s0meone else...u forgot everything i did fr u..wat did i du wrong tt she did rite? where was she when u were crying n in pain?where was she when u needed someone to hold yr hand n believe in u..WHERE THE FUCK WAS SHE?????! she was hating u while i was helping u..bt in the end u stil chose her....the way u hurt me sooo deeply..tts the way she'll hurt u one day n then u will come bck 2 me n cry n knw wat i'll du i will ask u,"fr all these years when i needed un yr trusts n warmth where were u? when i needed s0meone 2 hold my hand n tell tt im beautiful where were u?" thats wat i'll ask u..n u'll haf no reply..as usual...im tired n sick of playing games....i need someone whu knws hw 2 cheer me up when im down..tt someone doesnt haf 2 gimme flowers n throw expensive things in my face all i want is someone whu can hold my hand n jus by tt i can forget the world...